What inspired my question from last week was the somewhat common assumption that the verse, ‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’, means that it’s God’s desire that a man seek a wife if he’s to have one (Pr 18:22). And I think it’s safe to say that we often have assumptions and preconceived notions based off of everything from popular opinion, to tradition, and our own selfish thoughts. But while addressing this assumption the Holy Spirit gave me Proverbs 4:7, which reads, Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (KJV). I looked at several Bible versions of this scripture and they all stress the difference between simply acquiring knowledge and gaining understanding (or wisdom, or judgment). A parrot can be trained to repeat biblical scripture, but they have no understanding of what they’re saying. Understanding of God’s word is the principal thing. And preconceived notions can be -no are- a hindrance of our understanding of God. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”, declares the Lord (Isa 55:8).
A few more questions concerning Proverbs 18:22 though; does it suggest that:
1. …all wives are a good thing?
2. …an unmarried man has not received favor from the Lord?
3. …if a man is to receive a wife, he is to seek her?
1. A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones (Pr 12:4). The NIV note on this verse says that a good example is Ruth (Ru 3:11), who is described as having noble (def. possessing outstanding qualities; arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals [m-w.com]) character (def. attributes or features that makeup or distinguish an individual; the complex mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person; the usual qualities or traits [m-w.com]). And such a woman is fully described in the popular Pr 31:10-31, which is titled in many Bibles ‘Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character’. A wife of noble character brings her husband honor and joy. Like wisdom -and because of her wisdom- she will set a garland of grace on her husband’s head and present him with a crown of splendor (Pr 4:9).
Contrasting the wife of noble character is the disgraceful (def. dishonorable; shameful; lacking merit, a good name, respectful, integrity, or purity [m-w.com]) wife who saps the very strength of her husband. She’s described as a decay of his core! Proverbs 19:13 reads, ‘a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping’. Stirring up dissension is condemned throughout Proverbs (NIV note).
So, surely, not all wives are of God, and not all wives are good. Proverbs 19:14 specifies by saying, ‘a prudent wife is from the Lord’. And most notably the contrasting of the two types of wives puts the cultivation of character in the wife’s hand. She decides what type of wife she’ll be.
2. The Bible has many instances where favor is given apart from having a wife. Abel was looked on with favor from God because he dedicated his best to him (Ge 4:4). God looked on Noah and Mary with favor because of their godly lives (Ge 6:8-9; Lk 1:30). God looked upon Israel with favor because of their obedience (Lev 26:1-13). We receive favor as God’s fellow workers (2 Co 6:2). The righteous are granted favor (Ps 5:12). To find wisdom is to find life and favor (Pr 8:35). That last verse is from Proverbs chapter eight, which in my Bible is titled ‘Wisdom’s Call’. And I as I wrote earlier, the desirable wife is characterized by wisdom, so to find a wife, such as this is to find favor.
3. Based on my understanding of Proverbs 8:35, and the other reference verses from this post, I’ve come to the conclusion that Proverbs 18:22 might suggest that a potential bridegroom should be the one to actively seek the wise and prudent wife that God desires him to have. That’s if God has called him into the covenant of marriage. I’ll also point out though that the use of the word ‘man’ in the Bible is often in reference to mankind, or any person who has reached adulthood. Surely God encourages women to also acquire wisdom. And surely many of the qualities used to describe the noble wife are also to be found in a noble husband (wisdom, prudence, shrewdly managing the affairs of the household, enterprising, diligent, etc.). So Proverbs 18:22 may very well be interpreted as, ‘whoever finds a prudent spouse finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’.
Great analysis!
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