Submission In Marriage

Submit- to yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another; capitulate; concede (m-w.com). 

The rebellious, in heart, took fight at the very sight of the word, but I see you’re still with me, so… 

Chapter five of Ephesians speaks of submission, starting first with the submission of all ‘children of the light’, which tells us to be imitators of God and Christ, living a life of love that is characterized by sacrifice, and to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (v. 1-2, 21).  Lord, help us all with this one!  Submitting is something that goes against our prideful nature, but this is how we prove ourselves to be children of God because saying isn’t the same as doing.  This mutual submission is shown in a ‘conciliatory attitude’ that is ‘associated with the filling of the Spirit’ (NIV note on v. 21).  We should seek to give the advantage instead of taking advantage. 

The following passage, verses 22 to 33 -titled ‘Wives and Husbands’ in my Bible- speaks of the sacrifices each spouse should make, and be willing to make in a marriage.  Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, not meaning the husband stands instead for the Lord in the marriage, but that a wife is to submit to her husband as an act of submission to the Lord (v. 22 and NIV note).  I’ll also point out that the word ‘as’ in this context most likely means ‘to the same degree or amount’, which leads me to believe that the wife is to submit to her husband, in that he himself is submitting to the Lord (This is in reference to character, as no one but Jesus has lived a perfect life.).  We’re told that nothing, no one, or nowhere precedes God, and that includes a husband (Rev 1:8). 

Verse 23 continues, ‘For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior’.  This verse explicitly states the cost of being a husband, or ‘head’ (director; leader; m-w.com) in a marriage:  sacrifice your life!  Jesus did so, in life and death.  All he did was for his bride, the church.  It also places the responsibility of leadership on the husband.  ‘Now the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything’ (v. 24).  The church is defined by its submission to Christ.  So, if an assembled group of people aren’t submitting to Christ, they can’t truly call themselves a church, just as a headless body ceases to live.  So, what do we call a woman who’s not submitting to her husband, or who’s not the head of his wife?

We, the Church, have power when we submit to the Lord. Just as the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective, so is a submissive wife in her marriage (Jas 5:16).  Husbands may be won over without words by their wives’ behavior, beauty of their inner selves, and their gentle and quiet spirit (which is of great worth in God’s sight; 1 Pe 3:1-5).  This submission is seen as powerful, not weak, because only a strong woman can submit.  Women who fail to do so, are motivated by fear -the fear of losing control- but the previous verses explain how control may be gained by submission (1 Pe 3:6).  Surely, faith in God, and his way opposes this fear.   

Now back to husbands, verse 25 to 27 tell of the care given by Christ to the church for its overall wellbeing.  For a husband to care for his wife, is to care for himself, since they are one flesh (v. 28-31; Ge 2:24).  And is self-preservation wasn’t enough reason to care for a wife, failure to do so will result in hindered prayers (1Pe 3:7).

The profound truth of the union of Christ and his ‘bride’, the church, is beyond unaided human understanding.  It’s not that the relationship between husband and wife provides an illustration of the union of Christ and the church, but there’s a basic reality it, with marriage being a human echo of that relationship (from NIV note on v. 32).  Although the church is illustrated as the body of Christ, he’s independent of it.  Christ won’t cease to exist without followers, as a true marriage would without the two living as the Word instructs.

In closing, ‘In the Lord, however, woman isn’t independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.  For as a woman came from man, so also man’s born of woman.  But everything is from God’ (1 Co 11:11-12).

Bottom line:  We need each other y’all!