Pride Police

The Bible tells us not to think more highly of ourselves than we should (Ro 12:3).  What it doesn’t say is, make sure others don’t think more highly of themselves than they should.  God has the humbling department all sewed up.  He doesn’t need you there. Besides, we have more than enough work to do on ourselves.  There’s no need to pile any more onto our workloads.  Our opinions of self -and certainly of others- are to be taken with sober judgment.  They’re to be moderate, not leaning towards extremes. 

The problem with being a pride policeman is the risk of falling into hypocrisy.  One might argue that the preoccupation with checking on another’s pride is a prideful stance itself.  You can find fault without being a fault finder, but a fault finder always finds fault.  One can’t properly discern what’s prideful in another if they are prideful themselves (Mt 7:5).  As long as we’re human, and Jesus has yet to make his second advent, we’ll remain imperfect. 

A person, however, who fearlessly recognizes, addresses, and makes a sincere effort toward correcting their own short comings (as opposed to projecting them on others) is fit to appropriately asses sinful behavior, such as pride (1Co 11:31; 2Tim 3:16).  We’re obligated to correct, in love, not fault find (Lev 19:17; Eph 4:15).  Loving correction, according to God’s word is sometimes necessary.  We may need to accept the wise counsel of someone being led by the Spirit to correct, rebuke, or teach us what is right (Pr 11:14; 15:22; 27:6; Jas 1:5; 1Co 11:31).  And our response to biblical correction will show whether we’re truly caught up in pride or not (Pr 12:15).

Whether intentional or not, perception of others is always effected by perception of self (Ge 4:1-12).  What is often mislabeled as pride is not pride at all.  It’s often the result of a person thinking lowlier of themselves (their abilities, accomplishments, gifts, physical characteristics, etc.) than they ought to, that makes rich soil for planting seeds of jealousy and resentment of others.  Distorted perception of self will cause one to misjudge another’s motives or intent.  It will lead them to call a person who is striving for perfection, someone who thinks they’re perfect.  It’ll lead them to search for another’s wrongs, instead of appreciating what’s right.  It’ll hinder them, and prevent them to serve God freely as they’ve been called to do (2Co 3:17).   

It’s not unusual for children of Cain to throw their own insecurity on others; especially others who are apparently enjoying the benefits they don’t believe they can have for themselves (or even someone they love).  To fittingly bind this evil, divisive spirit, we must identify it, and call it by its name:  jealously (jealous- adj. 2. Hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage [m-w.com]).  Don’t buy into the Tempter’s lie of jealousy!  God is not a respecter of person.  What He’ll do for another, He’ll surely do for you (Ro 2:11; Mt 25:14-30; 1Co 3:3; 2Co 12:20; Gal 5:20).  If we are to live lives pleasing to the Lord, these seeds of envy and jealousy must be uprooted before we become murderous descendants of Cain, whether in thought, speech or deed.     

Favor Is Fair!

            The saying ‘favor isn’t fair’, irritates me so much. 

In regards to favor from God, to say so is to imply that God isn’t fair or just.  And surely we know better.  What the statement references is grace specifically, which is defined as unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification (m-w.com).  But the thing about ‘favor ain’t fair’ is that it could mislead those who don’t know better. 

fair - adj. 6.a. marked by impartiality and honesty;  free from self-interest, prejudice or favoritism <a very fair person to do business with>; just; unbiased

favor - n. 1.a. friendly regard shown toward another, especially by a superior

favoritism - n. 1. The showing of special favor; partiality     (m-w.com)

Peter said in Acts 10:34-35, ‘I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.’  And if we are to be godly, we aren’t to show favoritism either (Jas 2:1,8-9,13; Ex 23:3; Job 34:16-19; Ro 2:11; Col 3:25; 1Tim 5:21; 1Pe 1:17).  God doesn’t favor individuals because of their station in life, their nationality or their material possessions, or any other worldly, passing trait.  For God -or us- to discriminate based on these factors would mean judging with ill intent, and goes against the law of love (Jas 2:4; Mt 22:37-40; 1Jn 4:8).  God used whoever he wanted to spread his message and show himself to be a respecter of no particular person:  youth, women, blind, sick, thieves, prostitutes, the dead, etc. (1Sam 17:42-51; Jn 4:1-42; Jn 9; Mk 1:40-45; Lk 23:32-43; Jos 2; Jn 11:38-44).  God does, however, respect character and judge work (NIV study Bible note on Ac 10:34)(Isa 64:5; Eph 2:8-9; Ro 10:9). 

As far as I know, favor from God is dependent on two criteria: 

Based on scripture, favor is shown to those who have met a certain requirement.  God responds to what we do, not who we are (1Sa 2:30).  And based on experience and observation, the previously mentioned grace may also be granted based on what a person is to become, regardless to what they currently are. (Pr 3:34; Isa 26:10.) 

Ez 33:12-16 warns the righteous not to rely on their righteousness and encourages the wicked to become righteous; this Old Testament text does not refer to redemption through Christ, but does affirm that one who turns from their evil ways can live, just as the Word states that (unrepented) sin results in death (Ro 6:23; 10:9) 

How God balances grace, mercy, blessings, and judgment in the right measure at the right time is something man cannot even fathom, because He operates in the divine wisdom of a being that has all knowledge.  His knowledge isn’t limited by perspective because He’s infinite and omniscient (1Ki 8:22-27; Heb 4:13).  He always has been, and always will be everywhere at all times.  He isn’t hindered by corruption because he’s absolutely just, holy, and right, and has need of nothing (Dt 10:17). 

Out of all of our confusion, we should understand that whatever God says, is.  He said, ‘Let there be light’, and there was (Ge 1:3).  He says, ‘Let Mr. Jones be blessed’, and although I don’t deserve it, I am!  My worthiness ceases to be an issue once God has made His decision.  (One might argue that a person’s ‘blessings’ serve as validation.  But we cannot be deceived by what may appear to be a blessing though.  It would be wise to discern whether a person has been blessed by God for doing things His way or has succeeded in their own way [Ps 37:7].)          

Get Understanding Pt. 1: Wives

What inspired my question from last week was the somewhat common assumption that the verse, ‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’, means that it’s God’s desire that a man seek a wife if he’s to have one (Pr 18:22).  And I think it’s safe to say that we often have assumptions and preconceived notions based off of everything from popular opinion, to tradition, and our own selfish thoughts.  But while addressing this assumption the Holy Spirit gave me Proverbs 4:7, which reads, Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:  and with all thy getting get understanding (KJV).  I looked at several Bible versions of this scripture and they all stress the difference between simply acquiring knowledge and gaining understanding (or wisdom, or judgment).  A parrot can be trained to repeat biblical scripture, but they have no understanding of what they’re saying.  Understanding of God’s word is the principal thing.  And preconceived notions can be -no are- a hindrance of our understanding of God.  “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways”, declares the Lord (Isa 55:8).         

A few more questions concerning Proverbs 18:22 though; does it suggest that:         

1.  …all wives are a good thing?

2.  …an unmarried man has not received favor from the Lord?

3.  …if a man is to receive a wife, he is to seek her?

1.  A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones (Pr 12:4).  The NIV note on this verse says that a good example is Ruth (Ru 3:11), who is described as having noble (def.  possessing outstanding qualities; arising from superiority of mind or character or of ideals or morals [m-w.com]) character (def.  attributes or features that makeup or distinguish an individual; the complex mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person; the usual qualities or traits [m-w.com]).  And such a woman is fully described in the popular Pr 31:10-31, which is titled in many Bibles ‘Epilogue:  The Wife of Noble Character’.  A wife of noble character brings her husband honor and joy.  Like wisdom -and because of her wisdom- she will set a garland of grace on her husband’s head and present him with a crown of splendor (Pr 4:9). 

Contrasting the wife of noble character is the disgraceful (def.    dishonorable; shameful; lacking merit, a good name, respectful, integrity, or purity [m-w.com]) wife who saps the very strength of her husband.  She’s described as a decay of his core!  Proverbs 19:13 reads, ‘a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping’.  Stirring up dissension is condemned throughout Proverbs (NIV note).   

So, surely, not all wives are of God, and not all wives are good.  Proverbs 19:14 specifies by saying, ‘a prudent wife is from the Lord’.  And most notably the contrasting of the two types of wives puts the cultivation of character in the wife’s hand.  She decides what type of wife she’ll be.  

2.  The Bible has many instances where favor is given apart from having a wife.  Abel was looked on with favor from God because he dedicated his best to him (Ge 4:4).  God looked on Noah and Mary with favor because of their godly lives (Ge 6:8-9; Lk 1:30).  God looked upon Israel with favor because of their obedience (Lev 26:1-13).  We receive favor as God’s fellow workers (2 Co 6:2).  The righteous are granted favor (Ps 5:12). To find wisdom is to find life and favor (Pr 8:35).  That last verse is from Proverbs chapter eight, which in my Bible is titled ‘Wisdom’s Call’.  And I as I wrote earlier, the desirable wife is characterized by wisdom, so to find a wife, such as this is to find favor.

3.  Based on my understanding of Proverbs 8:35, and the other reference verses from this post, I’ve come to the conclusion that Proverbs 18:22 might suggest that a potential bridegroom should be the one to actively seek the wise and prudent wife that God desires him to have.  That’s if God has called him into the covenant of marriage.  I’ll also point out though that the use of the word ‘man’ in the Bible is often in reference to mankind, or any person who has reached adulthood.  Surely God encourages women to also acquire wisdom.  And surely many of the qualities used to describe the noble wife are also to be found in a noble husband (wisdom, prudence, shrewdly managing the affairs of the household, enterprising, diligent, etc.).  So Proverbs 18:22 may very well be interpreted as, ‘whoever finds a prudent spouse finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord’.